milkring.com

Googlism is a website that finds out what Google.com thinks of you or anything else you decide to search for. Cam did a search on me this afternoon and filled me in on the results. They're pretty funny. Apparently, this is who I am:

jenn is an atheist
jenn is an awesome dot com
jenn is so great's livejournal
jenn is not here yet
jenn is awesome
jenn is so great's livejournal calendar
jenn is cooler
jenn is an egg
jenn is getting to be the pro at chemistry
jenn is evol”
jenn is my ex
jenn is
jenn is so great
jenn is the best
jenn is a nice
jenn is the daughter of the mayor of spring sun
jenn is evol”
jenn is currently attending college at columbia school of broadcasting
jenn is a person who loves jesus deeply ? it's very apparent
jenn is singing
jenn is listening to
jenn is not working with clients
jenn is not a doctor or nurse
jenn is featured on the stanford university cd compilation of best campus bands
jenn is an attractive 19 year old with coloration and features commonly associated with someone of
jenn is interested in piano
jenn is researching the governmental and non
jenn is a student and has worked for campus bus service since the summer of 1999
jenn is a native of annapolis county and currently resides in lower burlington
jenn is unashamedly flirting with bill
jenn is a very gifted artist
jenn is the vocalist
jenn is the founder of auroramud
jenn is a happy little homemaker
jenn is a graduate of the university of colorado school of law
jenn is older then glen they apparently didn't have colour photography at that point
jenn is still pregnant
jenn is continuing to recuperate
jenn is the greatest
jenn is a 15 year old girl new to capeside
jenn is in the college of arts & sciences and is leaning towards a computer science major
jenn is the best thing
jenn is pregnant
jenn is back in the band and jim dispirito is out
jenn is responsible for the project finances
jenn is a fulltime stylist
jenn is a wonderful person
jenn is about to enter her junior year at ucla as a theatre studies major
jenn is adopted
jenn is a washington dc native who earned her bachelor of science degree in from pffeiffer university in misenheimer
jenn is doing all of the hard work
jenn is waiting for a response
jenn is no help
jenn is going to put the hurt to them
jenn is soft
jenn is concerned that jack is slipping away from her
jenn is a recent graduate of eugene lang college
jenn is a reject 59
jenn is one of the few females on the boards that i like
jenn is also a very cool kid
jenn is up on the bridge
jenn is the glue of the operation
jenn is shy and contemplative
jenn is a lifeguard and swim instructor
jenn is drawn into the shadowland
jenn is fairly new to customizing
jenn is over n' jenn sez it's okay so because jenn sez its okay it is
jenn is 5 years old
jenn is still filming
jenn is an amazing freestyle canoeist and is currently pursuing a degree in nursing at uw madison
jenn is so sick of feeling like this she wanted to go in tonight
jenn is born weighing 7 lbs
jenn is a nerd
jenn is a hands
jenn is ok
jenn is going to become a film director
jenn is in 4th
jenn is not responsible for any injury
jenn is in remission and remains as optimistic as ever
jenn is a member of the american dental association
jenn is the heart & soul of illusionaire
jenn is a dual citizen
jenn is a laid back easy going person
jenn is a new york girl

Who are you?

I was checking my keyword searches in my website stats, (what people type at a search engine and wind up at my site) and the number three search is, “jenn is a cutie”. Heh! Stroke my ego just a lil more.

I feel a change coming on. I can't count how many times I've said that in the last number of months, and the change is merely temporary, my intentions drifting away as quickly as they came. It seems different this time, somehow. It seems lifelong. There are things I want need to change about myself in order to progress. I've gathered a few in my head:

1. Curse less. Cursing too much can make you sound lazy and ignorant.
2. Look at the bigger picture of things, instead of menial stepping stones. This leads me to 3.
3. Force myself to become less anxious, especially with doctors.
4. Look after my appearance a bit more.
5. Do more for my manflesh. (per Char)
6. Read more. Expand thy mind.
7. Take more pictures. Beauty in simplicity is often missed. I miss it, too.
8. Clean more.
9. Take more walks.
10. Make it a point to buy fresh flowers.
11. Stop settling for things.
12. Get more sleep.
13. Commit to something.

These are a few of the hundreds that have suddenly occupied my mind. I think I may go sleep on it. I love spring cleaning of the soul. Feels good.

Looking for a new or used car? Don't get caught up in all the bunk crap dealerships try to tell you. We have the magic of the internet to keep us informed, so use it. While you're at it, whip your browser to this little baby and outfox the fox, so to speak. Pretty interesting to read about all the lies and deceit that goes on in those places just to increase commissions. Definitely worth the read.

It's not every day I'm honestly proud of things I do, but today is an exception. For the first time in four years, I am actually under the 300 mark. (Check out the Me Minus Me section.) I can't tell you how accomplished and proud I feel right now. Just seeing that two opposed to three nearly made me bawl, I tell you. I feel like it's all down hill from here. Go me, baby. I rule!

For those not familiar with Hungry Jack TV dinners, there's one out called the All Day Breakfast, pictured to my left. The box brags about being one full pound of food.

Two giant hashbrowns, three pancakes, three sausages, two bacon strips, and a mass of what appears to be egg make up this beast and it is all, apparently, supposed to be microwaved together. Can you imagine the stench?

My question is, how the hell is any of this legal? I mean, come on. 231%cholesterol?! Look at the caloric intake! That's your entire day's worth right there in one gross ass meal! The sad thing is, this crap's readily available on any supermarket shelf! $4 gets you this delightful dish. And we wonder why we got to be so fatass. I mean, can you see this box-o-goodness passing across the desk of our dear government folk responsible for yay'ing or nay'ing the foods that get sold on shelves, only to let this slop get passed through? It's enough to make me vom, and believe me, that takes a lot. And to think there are some people that eat like this on a daily basis.

Moral of the story? Read your labels, k? I actually spoke about this whole thing in the middle of a grocery store aisle. I actually read some of the nutritional values off this thing. This eighteen year old kid overheard me, stopped, looked at it, looked at me, and said, “Wow. I eat those all the time. Guess I won't anymore.” ALL THE TIME?! How is he still breathing?

We're on our way home from having a lovely dinner out a few nights ago, and I'm told I have a tendency to dwell about future things instead of being happy in the moment. I wasn't angry, it's just something I haven't heard in awhile. It's something I know I do, and it's kind of annoying. You ever do that? I've got this habit where I've got one foot forward, just waiting to take that next step instead of just staying put for a few and enjoying things. Maybe it's habit from failed attempts at enjoying the present and solely the present in the past. Who knows?

Because of my recent reflection, I feel like watching High Fidelity. “Rob” always has a way of kicking my ass back into the present.

. o O (Charlie, you fucking bitch! Let's work it out!)

You do anything fun this weekend? I spent all day yesterday cleaning the old apartment. We have a lot more crap over there than we thought, so it ended up taking most of the day. We filled four trash bags full of clothes and shoes that we never wear anymore and gave them to a charity. I managed to sweep and mop the kitchen floor, though even after a good scrubbing it still looks dull. The bathroom is something I decided to tackle sometime during the week. It's just scary. Today has been spent going grocery shopping (tried a sample of some yummy chardonnay and cheese), giving miscellaneous smooches, took a few photos on the new camera (I can't wait until spring! I'm entering a landscape photo in my company's photography contest. There will be 12 winners - each winner will get $1,000 and their picture will be used in the company's calendar that will go out to thousands upon thousands of customers.) This negative six stuff's gotta go, though it makes the springs and summers worth it out here. I'm a thunderstorm lover, baby. Crash! Boom! Bang! That's my thing. Awwyeah. Sha-mone! (as Michael Jackson would say.)

Work-wise, I'm thinking this week should be pretty boring. A coworker of mine is leaving to head to another department. I can't say that I'm not a slight bit jealous of her, but I'm thinking it's my time to make an exit stage right from Hoho. I need a fresh environment. Smaller! Don't really care about the pay, as long as I can have a good environment. I miss working for a small company. K, enough babbling. Gotta fish through the 'Cago Trib and employ a new boss, and transfer laundry. Ciao!

Penguin baseball!

What's your score?

I was going to talk to you about some news-related article, but my thoughts of what I'd post today were shattered when I had my last run in with the bastards I work for. I'm not going to bore you with details. I have one bitch, and one bitch only: I want some respect.

I didn't post about it, but I had an interview with another position with my company this morning. My interview went very well. I was told there were a few more candidates to interview and that it would be reviewed over the weekend and that I should know something by mid-next week. I walk out of there feeling very confident and secure. I get back to my current job, work, check my e-mail, and what do you know. An e-mail from HR, only a few hours after I'd walked out of the interview. There, in plain 12 point font, black and white, read:

Thank you for your interest in the RS Disputes Rep position and for taking the time to interview with us. After careful consideration, the hiringmanager has selected a candidate whose skills and background more closely match the requirements of the position.
Again, thank you for your interest and good luck in future postings.

News to me, since they were going to “debate about it” over the weekend. I don't take this lying down. I e-mailed HR Rep who sent me this ridiculous impersonal form letter and asked her what the deal was, because M and I's previous conversation indicated we wouldn't know anything until next week. This is what I get back:

A managerial situarion arose that expedited her decision. I have released you from the posting so please continue to post for positions that interest you and that you feel qualified for. Thanks.

Well, isn't that lovely. Notice that a “situarion” has arose. Yeah, HR chick? Listen. They have you making $60K/year. Here's a quarter. Invest in some Hukt On Phoneks. Thanks.

Sorry. Whew. Had to vent. I write M, the woman I interviewed with. I basically asked her what this was about and if this was indeed the case, what I could do to improve my skills to better myself, blah blah blah. I haven't heard back from M yet.

You know what, though? I'm better than this crap. I don't need some stupid manager of a bunch of phone jockeys to tell me what I need to improve on. I'm good at my job, dammit. I have been entrusted with highly secure things in previous jobs, not to mention functions most people don't get handed to them in twenty years with a company. I've been praised by former bosses. I've been told I'm very smart, a quick learner, dependable, etc. Not to brag, but the list goes on. The fact is, I know I am good at what I do. So why the hell do I need validation from from M and HR mama? Probably because I've been sucked into the game way too long. I am a number. I am not recognized by my abilities, I am recognized by statistics and how long my ass has been planted in that chair. It's sad, and I'm done. But you know what I want more than anything? New paragraph, by the way. Come with me.

I ask you this, corporate puppets: How hard is it to be human? How hard is it to just say what you mean without all the bogus ridiculous wording that obscures the true meaning? Right now, the term Human Resources is a joke. It should be Robot Resources, because there was nothing human about this crappy rejection letter I got today. There was nothing human about the impersonal response I got today from HR Wench. I want respect. All I wanted was someone to fill me in on what was going on. Instead, I've heard nothing. Just a plain ol' canned response generated by some HR punk. I guess I just don't understand why it has to go down like this, is all - not just with this situation in particular, but all corporate situations.