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OK, so I didn't break the news to my boss yesterday. I was waiting on an offer letter. I received it later yesterday afternoon, so this morning it happens. I have major butterfly action going on right now. Big knot in the stomach. I'm both scared and elated at the same time. I won't miss the huge company atmosphere at all. For example, I was supposed to take off at 5pm yesterday. My boss decided to sign off on probably nine of my files at five minutes until 5pm. Needless to say, I was there until 5:30. It happens nearly every day, and it gets old. I get tired of being treated as a number. My work isn't recognized that much, and the truth is, when I tell her today, it won't be that big of a deal because the next guy coming out of training will replace me immediately. Ah, well. What can you do? People that have left my company have always said it was like this giant weight lifted off your shoulders. The stress is gone, you feel relieved, etc. I guess we'll see next Thursday, eh?

Well, it is official. I spoke with the VP of the group I shall be hired into, and I was offered the position of mortgage underwriter with their company in Vancouver, WA. The next few weeks is going to be insane. I have yet to tell my boss, which I plan on doing today, once I receive the official offer letter in my e-mail. I'm never good at this. I hrm, mumble, and stumble my words, and can't make eye contact. I've said for at least two years now, that I can't wait to get out of my company's grasp, for they are the root of all evil! Muahahahaha! Or something like that, anyway. But there ar-.. I mean, were pluses. Great benefits, an excellent vacation package, a phenominal 401K plan are all perks my conglomo company offered. Sure, this new company offers benefits, though they aren't as good. I also will have to pay my own parking. Ah, well. You give a little, you take a little, right? Overall, though, I am very pleased with my choice to take this position, because the benefits will outweigh the nitpicky cons. I have to admit to being a little nervous. I mean, I am leaving the womb here. I've been with my current company now for nearly four years this April, so it's hard to leave the comfort zone. I suppose life's all about change, etc. S'why I'm taking the leap! I'm incredibly thrilled with this opportunity. Matt's been strolling around all excited, and I have to admit, I'm glad we're getting out of here before the -40F hits. Still, I'll miss Chicago.

Well, today officially brings change. Wish me luck with breaking the news to my current boss. I so need it.

I can't believe we get to move back to the west coast. In case you couldn't figure it out, I got the gig. I'll tell you more about things Monday!

I'm watching the news tonight (Yeah, I know. Big mistake) and the newscaster's story was about a fire fighter that got the hell beaten out of him by a bunch of high school kids. He was walking home from a Halloween party at his church with his wife and child, and ten high school kids jumped out of the shadows and beat him with bricks and pipe. He suffered substantial injury, having had surgery to put a plate in his eye because his eye sockets were near crushed. Here's a man, who runs into burning buildings while everyone else is running out, saving lives, and this happens. It just isn't fair. (Yeah, I know what's coming. Life's not fair! Move on!)

The mere thought of this poor man brought me to tears. Yeah, I admit it. My period started one day early, and I bawled at A Baby Story this morning and then this guy's story on the news tonight. So what. Sue me. The truth is, a lot of times I'm able to brush these stories off with a grain of salt. After a while, as sad as it is, it's easy to just shrug and let it go in one ear and out the other. After all, that's all the news is 99% of the time - murder, theft, rape, etc. That's what sells, apparently. That's what holds our interest. Why is that? Are we that animalistic? I mean, who the hell says, “Hey. Halloween night, let's hide in the bushes and beat the ever living shit out of some random guy in front of his family! Yeah!” ? Am I missing something?

Sometimes I just want out of all this madness. Sometimes it breaks my heart so much that it truly is hard to bear one more story of someone suffering horrid misfortune due to the stupidity and selfishness of another. Blah.

I am sad by this. But I also want the big P to end, so I can stop being all psycho. Hey. A Baby Story WAS moving. I want babies. BAAAAABIES! FIIIIIIIVE HUNDRED OF 'EM!

You know what I'm getting sick of? I'm getting sick of being lumped in with America. Am I America? Nope. Did 100% of America vote the big B? Nope. In fact half of us wanted anyone but Bush in office. I just find it annoying that I've been reading things like, “Welp, you'd think the Americans would learn the first time. They voted him back in, so they deserve whatever happens.” Yeah. Because that's about as smart as saying I like the colour blue because I'm white.

The fact is, America just happens to be where I was born. I am not one of those people that have a bumper sticker on their car boasting my American pride. I don't even say that I'm proud to be American. Why? I have nothing to be proud of. When I say that, I mean I did nothing to be proud of. I'm American simply because my mom decided to pop me out in the good ol' US of A. The thing is, I hear a lot of this talk come from people dear to me - people who claim to be open-minded; people I deem smart. It's also a global thing. Because you're American, you get your head chopped off. Head go byebye if you supposedly support the US. I just think this ignorance needs to stop. Really, where are we going with this? How is this mentality beneficial? It's sickening, really. If this is how it's going to be, we may as well bring back slavery and the-blacks-in-the-back-of-the-bus rules. I guess I'd like to think we're beyond that.

I've started off on WW Online just fine and have lost a little. I just can't bring myself to do anything, as of late, and it disgusts me. If you have any ideas on motivation or fun workouts, I'd definitely like to hear them.

Here I am, 5:50am. I don't have to be up for another hour. Thanks, time change.

So, it's Monday. *sigh* Not in the mood to go to work today. It's going to be rainy outside all day - the perfect day to sit here on my red couch and curl up with a good book.

I have one of those magnet calendars on my fridge - you know the ones where you write in each day of the month with a dry erase marker? November doesn't look so bad, until the last couple of weeks of the month. It turns to sheer insanity at that point. There's work related stuff, a doctor's appointment, a trip out west, and possibly something else, depending what I hear back. I don't want to jinx it, but I had a great talk with someone with a company in Washington regarding an underwriting position they have available with their company. He'd want me to start sometime at the beginning of December, should he choose to hire me. I think it may be a good sign - at the end of the conversation, he said, “Well, this could definitely move in a positive direction.” So, we'll see. Trying not to get my hopes up, but if it does happen, I have a lot to plan for in a very short amount of time. So, wish me luck and I'll keep you updated. Because I'm ridiculously superstitious when it comes to things like this, that's all I'm going to say about it until I hear a decision.

So, what's your Monday looking like? Did you have a nice Halloween? What did you do this weekend?