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The mail man brought me two bits of happiness today - my beloved Pottery Barn magazine, and the new issue of Cottage Living. I’m a fiend when it comes to home decor, and I love scanning the pages filled with perfect furniture to suit perfect rooms in perfect homes owned by perfect families. They give me ideas of how I’d like to decorate my perfect room someday.

My mother wrote me an e-mail today, telling me her doctor would not approve her request for a mobile scooter. My mother has multiple sclerosis, and must walk with the assistance of a walker, sometimes using a wheelchair. She’s got advanced stages of the disease. My sister and I convinced my mother to try and talk to her doctor about getting a mobile scooter through medicare, and when she did, her doctor denied her claim. The reason is something I cannot even begin to understand: She has full use of her upper extremities. This reasoning is ludicrous. I think it has something to do with the doctor not wanting to pay for it, due to the fact my mother has medicare. I’m not sure of the ins and outs of it all, but I believe if one is on medicare or medicaid, they could have trouble with all kinds of things dealing with HMOs. I dug around the internet tonight, and read some stories on some people not even being able to get proper care simply because they were on medicare. Does it cost doctors even more to care for patients on government assistance programs? If anyone has any information regarding this subject, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. For now, I feel there should be some sort of other source I could speak with on my mother’s behalf, because I feel this clown of a doctor she went to is trying to get out of doing his job. Perhaps I can contact an MS advocate, should I not get very far.

I was bad and caved today. I had fried asian food, which included fried rice, to top it all off. It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be. It’s funny how you think you’re craving something bad that you’ve not let yourself have for quite some time, and when you have it, it’s just not as good as you remember.

I’m going on a walk tomorrow, over lunch. I don’t care if files are piling up; I’m giving myself a half hour to de-stress and unwind. There’s a lovely dog park near where I work. I love walking by on a sunny afternoon. Dogs greet me playfully through the chain link fence. I give them kisses, scritches, and it makes me happy for the rest of the day. Lucky for me, it’s right on my walk path I have layed out for myself.

Tomorrow is Wednesday, and already, this week has seemed to move quickly. It’s strange how I say that now, yet Friday can’t come quickly enough.

I love having a laptop. If I didn’t have one, I wouldn’t be able to lounge in my comfy bed encompassed in pillows of eggshell blue and cream. My bed reminds me of home, as of late, especially since I purchased my quilt from the Simply Shabby Chic collection at Target. It’s very pretty and simple; just the way I like things.

My job is going a bit better, now that I have been given the green light to proceed with my decisions on deals and not have to run them past anyone to critique and analyze. I don’t foresee myself being with the company forever, and in fact, will likely continue with the plan of trying to find something better when the market picks up a bit, but for now, I’m as content as I’ll ever get. One thing that’s strange, though, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m detatched from this particular job, but I haven’t let stress get to me whatsoever, yet. At prior jobs I’ve really loved, if work started piling up, I’d get stressed, because I wanted to provide the best I possibly can to get the task at hand completed as quickly as possible. Not that it isn’t the same now, I think, to an extent, it is. I’m just realizing that no job is worth the kind of stress I would put myself through day in and day out. I don’t want to have a heart attack by the time I’m thirty-five.

My quest to find people into photography has really taken off. I created a Yahoo Group this evening, and I’m hoping that everyone who has contacted me, will sign up. Either way, the people that have definitely expressed interest seem like real interesting people I’d like to get to know.

I just caught a whiff of mexican food. Particularly cheese enchiladas. I’m craving grease. Grease bad. Carrot sticks good. Or something.

Gatts is in the living room, making her eerie mow-wow noise, except it’s in the form of a question. Sorta like, “Mow-wow? Mow-wow?” Strange. I discovered a number of years ago, when she makes that noise, it’s usually when every one is off doing their own thing, and whatever room she’s in, is dark. It usually happens at night. The weirdo meow starts, and, if you’re lucky enough to walk in on her when she’s doing this little ritual, you’ll see she has her little baby stuffed bear hanging from her mouth. I think she thinks it’s her baby. She carries it around by the back of it’s neck and sits it up on it’s butt, usually in doorways or near her humans. It’s ridiculously cute.

I wish the sun would come out. The rain, however, has the hint of spring to it. Before, the rain only smelled of cold. Now, it smells more fresh; earthy. I don’t mind it, but I am ready to see the sun on a more significant basis. I really can’t wait until the coast is filled with sun and 75 degree weather. There’s nothing better than the Oregon coast in the summer time.

Tomorrow is only Tuesday, but on the brighter side, my work weeks have been going by pretty quickly. We’ve no plans this weekend, which is nice. I like no plans, once in awhile. Sushi is in order, I think, as is a good spring cleaning on this apartment.

Things are on the up and up, I think. I’m feeling better about things, in general, regarding the way things are going in my life. I get frustrated sometimes, but every once in awhile, like tonight, when I’m buried underneath the softest sheets I’ve ever owned, surrounded by big fluffy pillows, that I realize things could be a lot worse. Truth be told, I think I’m pretty lucky.

I just read that Don Knotts has passed away, at age 81. He died yesterday from respiratory complications. He was famous for his role as a deputy in The Andy Griffith Show. This show meant a lot to me, as it brings back many memories. My dad used to video tape all the re-runs on TBS when the show would come on, and there’d be many a night when we’d drag those tapes out to watch episode after episode. Even to this day, many years later, I’ll catch myself flipping through channels to see if I can catch an episode or two. It was good times. Your spirit will live on for many years to come, I’m sure. “Barney,” you’ll forever be missed. God bless.

I’ve been thinking about how cool it would be to get a group of people together around Portland who would be interested in going out and doing photography excursions in and around the city. Any takers? There might already be groups that do this, and I’m just not aware of it. I thought about posting an ad on Craigslist, but haven’t done it yet. Heather goes out with a group in Vancouver, BC, and seems to have an awesome time, so I’m hoping to accomplish the same thing, maybe swap ideas, learn a lot from each other, and have some fun. Know anyone that would be interested? Can you point me in the right direction? If you have ideas or thoughts, please let me know. I’d love to get something together.

My sister, Leslie, has finally created a blog. (It’s about time, woman!) To see the cutest picture ever, or hear about some dude’s itchy balls, please. I urge you to read on.

Had the poker tournament involved real money this afternoon, I would have walked away with $22,000. Huh. Maybe I have a knack for Texas Hold ‘Em.

I think I need a vacation.

While in the Apple Store this evening getting a mouse replacement, I decided to buy an iPod Nano. Part of the inspiration came from discovering some really good music in the last couple of days, and also because I want to drown out coworkers. Oh, and have something to bop to during my workouts. Oh, and to listen to at night. Well. You get the drift.

The coolest thing is, I’m excited about music again. It’s been years since I’ve actually looked forward to buying a particular album, or hearing a certain song. I can’t be bothered much with 99% of stuff on the radio, as it all sounds the same anymore, and well.. most of it sucks. 94.7 Alternative Portland played Destroy Everything You Touch, by LadyTron one night, and I was hooked. Finally got around to snagging it, and was listening to it pretty much nonstop, when Cam threw me What Else Is There, by Royksopp. It’s like I’m rejeuvenated with good tunes once again. I missed this.

I am now officially addicted to euro pop. For now.

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Dear Bean,

I got to see you on a surprise visit yesterday, when your mom and dad decided to come up for the day! I was thrilled! It’d been far too long since I’d gotten to give you kisses and spoil you rotten. Not to fear, though - I get you all next weekend, too!

I got to see all the new things you’ve discovered. You’re a busy little man! You liked my front step leading into the living room. You’re not quite confident enough to make it down by yourself yet, so you stand and stared at me until I came over to take your hand and help you down. When you made it, we’d clap and yaaaaay! at you, and you wanted to do it again and again.

You’re learning words, too! You immediately went for my phone, pointed, and said “Hello!” You can also say “nanas” for bananas, “cracker,” and “Uh oh!”.

You sure love remote controls. Good Lord, do you love them.

You haven’t forgotten your hoot noise, either. You know that makes auntie laugh, so you were sure to do it all night long in Spaghetti Factory last night. It’s like an arrow to the heart. I love it way too much.

Another cute thing you do, is stomp. We just have to say, “Stomp it, baby!” and you stomp your little legs with all your might! “Round and round and round and round!” is another favourite. Yes, you’re like our little monkey. We love making you do new tricks. If you say that phrase, you start burning around in circles until you get so dizzy you fall down. I’m such a good auntie, aren’t I?

We had a little mishap yesterday. Our kitty, Gattica, felt you were getting a little too close for comfort and snagged your ear with her claw. She got you good, but you had to learn somehow that patting the kitty pretty hard wasn’t winning you any points in her book.

You get more fun and more like a little man every day, my sweet Bean. I can’t wait to see you next weekend! I love you!

Auntie Jenn

A bit of randomness that has nothing to do with the post I’m about to throw at you: There’s one thing that’s been getting under my skin lately. I’m sick of getting stoked because I get a few e-mails, only to find out they’re promises to enlarge my penis if only I throw a few million into my long lost great great aunt’s checking account, which is in Siberia somewhere. Seriously. Anyway.

Been thinking about my flaws, and things that truly get under my skin about myself. Oh, there’s lots of things we could likely point out about ourselves, but I mean the real big things. Things you know you should change, but haven’t for whatever reason. Things you know would better yourself in lots of ways. Mine’s my weight. Truth is, I think I just get lazy and I hate that I can’t be like some people I know and just eat whatever I want, do a couple leg lifts, and call it good. I have an addiction with food. Now, what am I going to do about it? Well, it’s what I’ve been “working on” for awhile, and truth be told, I can honestly say I have been working on it. I just haven’t been very dedicated and not as strict with myself as I should be. I let myself cave a lot. Then, what happens is a downward spiral. I feel like I failed. I’m a failure, therefore, why even try? Oh, I’ll start next week. Maybe the week after. Oh, geesh, you know I won’t do that, and I just keep putting it off, so why do it at all? *insert cake into mouth* That’s the issue at hand. So, to help me in my quest for a better waistline, I think I’m going to plan out some more lower-ish carb menu items. I’m going to try to work out twice per day on some days, 30 minutes at lunch and 30 minutes after work. In between days, I’ll likely just do one set of 30 minutes. I just know that I need to step it up a little bit and stop being a slackass.

Your turn. What do you want to change about yourself? What steps are you taking to achieve your goal? If you aren’t or can’t, why not?

Nothing makes me happier than seeing blue cloudless sky after months of grey.